RELIGION

 

Through all my doubts and questioning of religion, particularly Christianity, one thing has remained constant, my belief in spirituality. After reading a rather refreshing and liberal book, surprisingly written in collaboration with a very devout Bhuddist, the Dalai Lama, I realised that no religion like I have come to accept and assert is supreme. The saying all things are equal comes to mind here and usually it is restricted or made in reference to people but it really should extent to all things  because being born different it is only natural that we would believe different. What should remain important is the freedom to choose our own spiritual paths. The book talks rightfully I believe about the concept of equality basing it on the fact that everybody has the right to be happy and that if that happiness is derived from a particular religious tradition different from the norm, then that right ought to be respected. After all the goal at least I suppose is not world religious domination but righteousness and righteousness can be derived from a lot of influences as various famous personalities have come to prove. Being religious I think more than anything should be stemmed in tolerance and love and acceptance not an insistence in having things done the way we believe is best; after all, all we do have is a belief and beliefs are a result of a choice to commit to a set of principles and living by them ( and undoubtedly other social, economic, cultural… influences). As much as each of us has a different favourite colour and choose to love different things and or people in different ways then we should be able to realise that in all things we derive happiness from different things and therefore our beliefs cannot possibly all be the same. I believe the antidote to all these wars caused by the quest to assert one religion as superior to all others can be quelled by teaching respect and tolerance other than hate and judgement. We need to realise that nothing about any individual gives them the right to judge others and demean what they believe in. Religion should never be about taking control over other peoples beliefs but tolerating and understanding and living together in harmony and embracing our differences. The ultimate goal in life is apparently being happy and therefore in our selflessness which is spread by most religions if not all, let's let each other live and in turn live ourselves. One definition of confidence is being able to stand up for yourself without necessarily trampling or stepping on other people's toe's or beliefs and each and every religious person and non-religious person equally, needs this trait in order for there to be peace and tranquillity.

DATING

Why do we date? What are our ultimate expectations and do we voice them to our partners? How do we determine the right person to take it to the next step with. Is it because of what we know of them? But what do we make of the dynamic nature of humans and the potential of what we know of the person changing? My friends say I am a difficult person to date, I say I am realistic. I notice the little things and I don’t like ignoring them because all too often when people divorce or fall out of love/ like it's because of the little things that their partner does that they just can't stomach anymore that they thought they could ignore. I don’t get why people would make the sacrifice of dating someone they are not comfortable with or around. The reality is no one will ever find their 100% other half without flaws, after all we are perfect in our imperfections, but I do not believe in forcing things. I for example know what matters to me and any relationship I have must accommodate these things. I am not entirely unreasonable, I can compromise but I am not at all for losing the essence of what makes me, me for a relationship. I also abhor wasting my time or the other person's time and I think that’s why people end up saying after dating a long time and it not working out that they wasted time. I don’t believe in wasting time, if I am with you then I must be enjoying something about us being together. Why then do people, at least the one's I have met subject themselves to relationships they do not cherish and therefore do not enjoy nor more importantly respect!? Why should we as people be content with not being happy with ourselves or our relationships? I mean I get  that a relationship is work and for some things you guide your partner on how to make you happy, but for christ's sake there has to be a natural pull towards each other, the work done must definitely build on something, an attraction, an understanding, a commonality, anything. My main case here is that no one should have to over compromise themselves if they are with the right person. It leads to bitterness and holding of grudges and counting up times and not living in the moment and enjoying the moment. Sometimes taking time to yourself and being with oneself is what one needs to gain perspective on themselves, what they like and don’t like so that in their being whole and their authentic self, they are able to attract likeminded people and be able to maintain themselves in the union.