"YOU WAISTED MY TIME"!

The ultimate quote symbol of the end of a  usually long term relationship. Men are often the victims of this statement and when it is uttered, the accusing party is never calm; usually in tears or in the pits of rage. I have never understood how one gets to this very conclusion that their time was wasted as an adult in a relationship. This is my contention, when we enter into relationships and decide to be steady and settle down, be in it for the long haul; we must also establish our expectations of the partner and for the relationship. Now of course at every age and after each defined circumstance these expectations change and that is why communication in a relationship is vital. I do not know why people allow to be engaged for more than 2 years if that is not what they want or allow to spend 8 years of their life with someone and pretend to be ok when they know that they would really like to be married. Why can't women just say I see myself married in 2 years and if you cannot do that or if you are not that man please let me know. And when they are told off, buzz off!? Next thing we play the victim and say the guy wasted our time- I am like how did he waste your time? A relationship is a choice and how long you stay in it and under what conditions is entirely up to the standards you set for yourself and your partner. It is not a prison sentence where you are told which room, what time to bath and wake up and where your menu is decided for you, day in day out. Women enter relationships I think in a position of fear and desperation. Fear of being labelled a spinster and desperate to be like that girl or another, desperate to call themselves Mrs this and that or the other. And this is why when a guy who had never promised anything leaves it's as if he committed the biggest act of betrayal. Men like to say you usually know within a short time if the woman you are with is the one you want to marry. And since we like to be asked why can't we establish within reasonable time(personally determined) if a guy sees himself married to us or not and what his plans are? This should surely save us the pathetic remarks that we have been strung along or that our time has been wasted. If you do not want to wait 5 or more years for an engagement then don’t! do not for pitssake stick around and then accuse another being of wasting your time because you stayed, if you thought there were better possibilities out there then by all means you should have gone out and suck out that man who you so staunchly believe would have married you in that time you feel was wasted. No one is ever truly a victim in a relationship. Every so often when in a relationship you must talk with your partner about your expectations from that point, about which previous expectations were met and which weren't and why and about what you are happy with and what you would like to change. If after 2/3 such evaluations you find the same things you want not done, the same thing you do not like unchanged then clearly you must be forcing matters. Let's stop hiding behind making excuses for the other person and then accuse them of wasting our time. No! take ownership and admit to yourself if no one else that you wasted your own time not making decisions that were yours to make. Everyone is responsible for their life and how and where it goes. Other people may influence but the ultimate decision lies with the individual. #YouWastedMyTimeMUSTFALL